Thursday 5 July 2012

My music men #1

I have enjoyed the silence of these weeks , alone in Caunes. However, today I felt like some noise. So, I cranked up the CD player and played some Gigli while I made the most of a cool morning and did some “housework”.

Beniamino Gigli was my father’s favourite. Dad introduced me to opera through Gigli’s powerful but so sweet and gentle tenor voice. As always, when I listen to Gigli, thoughts of Dad come rushing back. We used to sit in the dark in the front room ( the best, not often used room ) while mum got dinner ready. Little brother would be in bed, and Dad played his much loved 78 rpm records to me, pointing out the differences in Gigli’s sweet tones from Caruso’s more traditional great tenor powerfulness. Sitting there in the darkness, with Dad, sharing his music was so special, and it was all mine, not shared with mum, or little brother.







http://youtu.be/K9y89fwFxT8

(Clicking on the above link should give you a few minutes of Gigli's beautiful voice)
Me and dad, 2004, in Provence




















So, today, in my French salon, with the sunlight filtering through the doors that lead onto my beloved terrace, I am pottering around, rearranging plants, dusting things, and generally tidying up. I am sort of smiling as I listen to Gigli’s beautiful voice, but as always it is a sad smile, just hating the fact that Dad isn’t here enjoying the pool, the food, the weather, his children and grandchildren and “step” great -grandchildren, playing golf with Mark and, today, again sharing Gigli with me.

23 comments:

  1. So many times I catch myself thinking how much my father would have enjoyed this new adventure....and his likely reactions to the ups and the downs!
    Music brings him back to me too.

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    1. My dad was just a big kid. I dont think he ever really grew up, and because of that I suppose I never really thought he was getting older. I actually get cross, as well as sad, that he's not around for all the enjoyable things we 're doing these days. Basically, it doesn't matter how old we get, I suppose, if we were lucky enough to have loving parents, life is never going to be the same once they have gone. J.

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  2. Sad, but lasting memories of those special times with a loved parent that most of us can relate to.

    For me it is the sound of a Welsh male voice choir and my father singing hymns and Welsh songs as he washed and shaved. he used to make me cry when he sang 'The little boy that Santa Clause forgot'. I can hear him now. It's nearly ten years since he died.

    Enjoy your music and good memories x

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    1. Time passing doesn't make much difference does it... and music does it every time doesn't it. You are right though, its about good memories. I love the idea of your dad singing as he shaved. J.x

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  3. It made me cry, love. See you very soon now. xxxx

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    1. It's funny that I haven't played much music while I've been here on my own ( some piano...and wait for it...flute practice ! )but today, I really enjoyed listening to Gigli blast out as I tidied around. Can't wait to see you....9 days time ! J xxxxx

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    2. PS, well done for finding out how to leave a comment. x

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  4. What a handsome man your dad was, Janice, and what loving words and a lovely memory you have of him and through this music. I have such memories of dancing with my dad, standing with my stocking feet on his as he led me across the room to the song "Pennies in Heaven".

    The link is blocked here in the US, but, I googled Beniamino Gigli and spent some time listening to his remarkable voice. Thank you so much for sharing the memories and sharing this fine tenor.

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    1. Thanks Penny, sorry about the link. It may be to do with the way I have embedded it. Music can really carry you back to another time cant it. My daft dad would love the fact you called him handsome, and I can just imagine a little girl and her dad dancing to Pennies from Heaven. J.

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  5. A lovely post, Janice. It's made me think about my relationship with my grandpa, who was such a strong influence in my life (more so than my father) and with whom I still show and share things, simply by imagining he is looking through my eyes.
    And what beautiful things are in front of your father's eyes, in yours!

    You have, in fact, set me off thinking but I will stop via a quote from Carl Sagan: “The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” Axx

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    1. It's no good Annie, I cant cope with the science stuff....but I guess I understand what you're saying. I've just come back from a "Vendredi classique" concert in Caunes, and there was a counter tenor singing......it was amazing....my dad would have loved it, so I loved it for him. Jx

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  6. I still miss my dad. I remember being 'mad' at him for not being around to be with our kids...and now the grandkids. He and I were much alike and clashed often. One time he and my mom came to visit us when we lived in Illinois. After their visit, Lee said, "Either you are maturing or your dad is mellowing but you two didn't have one argument while they were here." I think we both just came to appreciate the other...and enjoy the differing points of view on things. Enjoy your solitude.

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    1. Missing my dad so much makes me feel guilty that I dont miss my mum as much....I guess I'm more used to her not being here ( its 30 years since she died next year)...but I am really cross this year, that Dad isn't here to share the delights of the French bit of our lives now. Lots of love xxxx

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  7. Oh, thank you, Janice! I so enjoyed that. My father was a fine singer and music and opera was very important to him. I especially think of him whenever I hear La Boheme or Madame Butterfly! It is a wonderful thing to have memories linked with music -- it's a spiritual link that can never be broken...

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    1. There is no doubt that Puccini does it for me too. Glad you enjoyed it. I've just come back from a concert in the village.... a counter tenor, he was incredible. I'm sure you would have loved it. J

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  8. This is the second blog post I've read in the last few days remembering a father no longer around. I did one a year ago too - commemorating one year of not having the stubborn, eccentric, kind, artistic, loving old so and so with me any more. We are so lucky to have had wonderful, loving Dads.

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    1. Blogging can bring out the sentimental.... as can music.... lethal mix I suppose. You are so right though about having been lucky. We only miss them so much because we loved them so much. J

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  9. Your Dad was a very handsome guy.....I know how you feel about missing him. My parents both passed away exactly 3 weeks to the hour....strange but it happened. I miss my Dad very much and whenever I see something that he liked I think of him as for my Mom also.
    I tried to watch the video but it keeps saying it is blocked in my country.....maybe I'll find it someplace else....lovely place your home.
    take care...:0)

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    1. Sorry about the video...and my dad would love it being called a very handsome guy...not only was he daft, he was vain too ! However, he was adorable, so I suppose we are lucky to have had parents we loved so much that we miss them, some aren't as lucky as that. J

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  10. Hi Janice, I found myself welling up reading your post. My sadness is the opposite way round from yours - my Dad died 33 years ago and less raw. I was lucky to have more time with my Mum and she was able to enjoy her children and grand children and well its 10 years now and when I see people out with their elderly parents - how I envy them.
    Celia x

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    1. I identify with that envy. As it was my mum that died all those years ago, it is middle aged women, going shopping with their mothers that makes me well up. The funny thing is, I would never have got to know my dad as well as I did if mum hadn't died so young, but I guess I'd have traded that to have had her around a bit longer. J x

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  11. A beautiful, if very poignant post, Janice. You do write so well.

    It's 30 years since my mother died and 34 years since I lost my father, but the pain and sadness are still there when I think of all the things they have missed, like their grandchildren growing up and even the great-grandchildren my mother-in-law so enjoys. Gigli was my father's favourite too and he introduced me to his glorious voice. Even now my most listened-to CD of opera is a compilation of arias by Gigli - just exquisite, despite the poor sound quality of the earliest recordings.

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    1. It is that sadness of the things they have missed that I sometimes find so upsetting. Listening to Gigli brought it all back, and I suppose as I am on my own at the moment, I let myself wallow for a little while. On most days I would have just had a fleeting moment of missing him, and got on with something else. In a way, it was good to "allow" myself the time to miss him again.
      Those crackly recordings just help take me back to listening to those old 78s.

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