My dad would have been 85 tomorrow if he hadn’t smoked 60 cigarettes
a day from being 20 years old until his heart attack at 48. He was very lucky.... the
heart attack didn’t kill him, but made him stop smoking.... and he lived a
further 30 years.
However, his dream, he said, was to still be striding down
the fairway, playing another round of golf, when he was 85. ( Not playing subuteo with his 13 year old daughter as he was in this 1968 photo......just look at those curtains...agghhh )
It wasn’t to be. The smoking finally caught up with him and
he died of lung cancer 7 years ago, when he was 78.
Sorry about the golf dad, but Jess and I will be spending
your birthday, your 85th birthday, together, and we will celebrate
for you.
Dad, aged 77.....still gorgeous, and with us, on holiday , in France...as he was just months before he died. His last game of golf was with Mark, in France.....one to be remembered, always.
Happy Birthday Dad.
Gosh your father had film star looks Janice, and you were so dark too when you were young. I suppose I always think of you as being like your 'avatar' with red hair, which of course I know you no longer have.
ReplyDeleteUltimately your father was lucky that he lived to be nearly 80 considering all the cigarettes he smoked, but his generation didn't realise the dangers.
Thank you for the lovely comment on my post, you made my evening.
My hair colour continues to surprise me Rosemary... I had forgotten I was that dark as a child, as I coloured my hair from being 15 years old. Then when it all grew back after the chemo last year, I was shocked that it was so dark.....with hardly any grey ! Although I have had a couple of hilights put in it now, I am going to retain my natural colour as long as possible now.
DeleteAs for my dad.... the heart attack at 48 was definitely a wake up call, so yes he was lucky to get the extra 30 years...and he was gorgeous wasn't he ! Jx
Gosh, yes, your Dad was quite the heart-throb, Janice. I'm glad he had the heart attack as a warning to stop smoking and gain those extra years of life. It sounds like he made the best possible use of them and I love the photo of him on holiday with you in France. My father smoked from the age of 12 and sadly died of lung cancer at 70, 36 years ago next Sunday. If only they'd known what we know now about the dangers of smoking.....
ReplyDeleteIt is so frustrating isn't it...that we know so much more now about what smoking does to people. It defies belief that anyone still smokes...... dad would love to have been called "quite a heart throb". I certainly think he was incredibly handsome...but I am very very biased. Jx
DeleteMe too - when I saw the photo, I thought, "Who is that '50s film star"? Like you, I feel so lucky to have had a lovely dad and smile when I think of his qualities & his "little" faults - partly because I become more like him every day!
ReplyDeleteHe would have loved the title 50s film star ! I know what you mean about becoming like our parents..... I hear both my parents coming out of my mouth on a daily basis !
DeleteWhat a stunner to have for a father and what a happy photograph of him on holiday with you.
ReplyDeleteI know all the stuff about smoking and health, but my father smoked like a chimney all his life....smelly maize paper roll ups that were known to the family as tramdriver's glove, mainly - I would know that he was home when I opened the door to a blue fug hanging in the entrance - but had no lung problems whatsoever.
I really don't understand how he could have escaped....but was very glad that he did, living until he was 93.
I dislike smoking...but sometimes I would love to open that door and see the blue fug hanging in the air again...
I remember really upsetting my mother, telling her that I had "allergies" and sneezed constantly when I visited home, because their whole house was impregnated with the smell of stale cigarette smoke. I also know what you mean though.... although my mum died 30 odd years ago and dad's house became a smoke free zone after his heart attack.... there was something familiar and I suppose nostalgic about the look and smell of a place where they both used to be...puffing away.
DeleteWhen I was ill last year, and worried about every little ache or pain, or cough and splutter, I stared considering the damage the passive smoking may have done to my brother and I as we were growing up. I've never smoked...... but I bet I've inhaled hundreds just by being in the same room as my parents for all those years.
I think my dad was a stunner too ! Jx
The heart attack could be looked at as a blessing in disguise. Without it he would surely have continued to smoke, and been taken from you so much sooner.
ReplyDeleteIt is clear how much you all loved, and miss him. I have been planning a similar tribute to my lovely mother who died over 10 years ago, and would have been 80 in May.
I hope that today your memories of this handsome man are the good ones. Mourn his passing, but celebrate everything that he was and the legacy he has left behind. I'll be thinking about you xx
Thanks Gaynor. I do miss him, but must admit that I smile when I think about him, and am delighted that the heart attack gave him the warning he needed. Jess and I didn't do anything particularly special to celebrate his birthday, but we talked about him a lot and listened to some of his favourite music together....and enjoyed ourselves on his behalf. Jx
DeleteAh Janice what a lovely post in remembrance of your Dad. It brought back memories of my Dad, also a keen golfer, and swimmer, until a massive stroke stopped him living his life as he wanted to. He lived for a further 7 years, but it wasn't really living for him. He died 13 years ago, and I still miss him every day...and I also drink a toast to him on his birthday. xx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear that your dad had such a difficult last few years. My dad had a pretty rotten last couple of months, which seemed long at the time, but he was not in pain and right to the end, he still imagined that he would have another game of golf "soon". His last game was in France, with Mark, and although he was a bit confused ( he had a brain tumour as well as lung cancer, although it was undiagnosed at the time|), Mark said he still hit the ball straight and with determined accuracy. Mortality is an odd thing isnt it.... the one certain thing in our lives...and we dont deal with it well do we.
DeleteOh well..... I enjoyed celebrating dad's 85th, with Jess, not flamboyantly, but with lots of love Jx
What a wonderful tribute to your Very Handsome Dad, Janice. And what a cute little teen you were too! I really like the last photo too, when he looks to have been in fine fettle in France, even though it was towards the end. He obviously gained many extra years from giving up the smoking, and has left you with wonderful memories. xx
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DeleteHe was a lovely man...and I know he would have loved all the comments here about how good looking he was ! Jx
A lovely tribute to your Dad, such happy memories, enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteThanks Chrissie. We had a lovely day spending lots of time thinking and talking about him
DeleteYour dad could have certainly given Dirk Bogarde a run for his money. I'm lucky to still have both my parents around despite them both smoking into their sixties.
ReplyDeleteI envy you.....I would have loved a bit longer with dad around, and as my mother died over 30 years ago, I am always very envious of people who have been able to spend time with their mothers when they have been "grown ups" themselves. However...... I know I was lucky to have my dad around for so long after his mis spent youth...so, whilst envious, its about hoping that people who are lucky enough to still have their parents around, appreciate it. I'm sure you do ! Jx
DeleteSuch a good looking man your Dad was, Janice; as much so at the photo of him at 77 as the handsome likeness of him on the top - and such a nice remembrance of him in your words.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad passed away 45 years ago April 12, at the age of 52, from lung cancer, three weeks after being hospitalized, two after being diagnosed. During World War II, it was considered patriotic to send cigarettes to our men in service. If then only knew - I suppose, being young, they still would have smoked.
Ah, but we miss them, don't we? and now we have this wonderful medium to reminisce about them and share our thoughts. A good thing, I think.
Why why oh why do people still smoke ? We cant blame our parents...they really didn't know.....but anyone born from the 1950s onwards has no excuse. I find it hard to believe that my own brother smoked for years.
DeleteI'm sorry you lost your dad so young to the ravages of the same disease....my mum died at 51, so I know what that feels like !
My dad died in a beautiful hospice, and he genuinely though he was a smart hotel. One of my last conversations with him was telling him that this gorgeous hotel was not costing him anything, as all expenses were covered by our wonderful NHS and the charity that ran the hospice..... he kept expecting a bill for his luxurious stay !
Jx
A really lovely post, Janice. When I first saw the photo, I thought your Dad looked rather like David Tennant - who I think is wonderful - only more substantial and 'real' somehow! And what a fantastic photo of you too at 13!
ReplyDeleteI have no words really. Both my parents are still alive. I love my mum dearly but am not close to my dad at all....when I read how much you cared for and loved yours, I feel a sadness for what my dad and I have missed.
Axxx
Strangely, I always thought I was much closer to my mum than my dad, but as mum died 30 years ago and dad, only 7 years ago... I just had so much longer to know him. If mum hadn't died, I suspect we would not have had such a special relationship....but she did...and we did. It is a shame that you haven't had that with your father, but I know you have a very special bond with your mum. Jx
DeleteWhat a nice tribute to your Dad....and I must say he sure was handsome.
ReplyDeleteThanks Erica... he'd love it that you said that.
DeleteWhat a fabulously handsome man your father was! I lost my father to lung cancer also, fourteen years ago - a very hard death. He had reached the grand age of ninety-one but, even so, I wasn't ready to have him leave me. I shall miss him all my life but have learnt, as I'm sure you have also, that in many ways he still travels with me.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely..... I talk to him quite a lot, and whenever I am sitting at my computer...like now.... I have at least 2 photos of him watching over me.... I will always miss him.
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