I have been longing for feeling normal again after my
surgery, and now, my first session of chemotherapy.
It isn’t just feeling normal that is holy grail like at the
moment..it is doing normal things. I want to just wander into town to potter
around and pick up a few Christmas presents. That hasn’t really been possible.
Walks have been exhausting, Mark doesn’t like leaving me on my own for more
than about 20 minutes, and organising all the appointments for treatment, follow - up,
blood tests, wig fittings, etc etc seem to take forever. All of this of
course, underlines the fact that cancer and its treatment now dominates our
lives...... and I want normal !
So...although my initial reaction to my first chemo session was to
require extra pain relief, and a trip to the wonderfully supportive oncology
ward at Huddersfield Royal Infirmary last weekend....since then, I have
recovered well. After a couple of days of pain, total exhaustion set in...which
is not unpleasant.......as long as you don’t try to do anything. I drifted from
bed to sofa, from dreams to rubbish on TV, a few conversations, and directions
to Jess as to where to place tree decorations....and then...suddenly, 2 days
after that.... I recognised, starting to feel “normalish”.
 |
| Thanks for getting the tree and decorating it Jess.... a really good job. |
Yesterday, I made a cake. It wasn’t a special cake. In fact
I couldn’t even remember my normal Victoria sponge ( with a hint of chocolate)
recipe. It is one I have used for years. I never have to look it up, I just get
the right amount of stuff out of the cupboard and do it. For some reason I
could not remember how many eggs, how much butter, sugar, flour......Then, I
realised I had no idea where I even got my usual recipe from in the first
place. So, for the first time in a long time, I consulted Mary Berry, and went
for her creamed recipe rather than the all in one, never being a fan of all in
one stuff.
The cake is great...... and drinking coffee, and eating cake
that I have made just feels amazing.........really, really, normal
Wonderful Janice - you have cheered me up! Fantastic sponge too - mine never look as good as that.
ReplyDeleteMary Berry is the queen as far as I am concerned. Thanks Nilly. Jx
DeleteJanice, I'm always rubbish at sponges, however normal I feel. :-) That looks delicious. I do know what you mean about longing to feel normal and I'm so glad you're now back in functioning mode until the next time. How many lots of chemo are you scheduled to have? It must be no fun knowing that you're going to have more periods of feeling so tired and wiped-out, but at least you have the very best of support staff. Hugs P.
ReplyDeleteI reckon if I have 2 good weeks and 1 rubbish week.... I can cope ! I have 6 sessions programmed in, all ending late March. The way I'm looking at it now after my next session, I'll be nearly half way through. It's going to be fine. Wish you could pop round for a slice of cake...it is good, honest. Jxx
DeleteMary Berry's recipes are great, aren't they! Have you tried her Yorkshire Curd Cheesecakes - we love them (my Better Half being a Yorkshireman & having Yorkshire blood myself!!)
ReplyDeleteAll good wishes for the chemo - I never had to endure that (just radiotherapy, which left me washed out for ages). But I've been clear for some years now, although my consultant doesn't write people off his list after 5 years, but puts us on to 24-month check-ups (I've got one on Friday this week). Hope you have as successful an outcome - will be praying for that for you.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteForgive above deleted comment.... too many spelling mistakes for me to leave it!
DeleteThanks for your kind thoughts Helva. I hope your' check up goes well this week. I do love Mary Berry recipes, and she is such a sweetie ! I will look up the Yorkshire curd recipe, it sounds excellent. J.x
Glad to hear from you Janice. Keep it up - summer in France by the pool is not too far away.
ReplyDeleteThanks BtoB.....am planning late spring, dont think I can wait till summer ! Jx
Deletelooks like Santa been already looking at your tree good job Liam hasn't seen this....will they be there on Friday?
ReplyDeletewill who be here on Friday ??? sorry....confused....Jx
DeleteThis is excellent news, Janice. Right now, normal is just right!
ReplyDeleteThat cake looks spectacular, perfect in fact. Wish I was there having a slice with you. So hoping we can get together in Huddersfield, but don't try and do too much!!
Much love and big hugs. Axxx
OOOHHH Annie.... I would just love you to be able to pop in for a slice of cake, and I am really hoping I can get to meet up with you when you are in Huddersfield. That is just before my next chemo session, so I should be fine ! Lots of love Jxx
Delete.....it was so nice to see a post from you...I check your Blog daily. Just think the worst is almost over and I'm glad you are feeling normalish.
ReplyDeleteYour cake looks amazingly delicious....
But do try and relax because you have an amazing husband....I know what you are going through I've been in the same situation like you before.
Take care (((HUGS))) Erica
P.S.....awesome tree.
Thanks Erica ( Irene). I am delighted to be feeling so "normal" , it is slightly frustrating knowing that the chemo will have side effects again next session, but feels good to know that it doesn't last forever.
DeleteThanks again. Jx
Lovely to see you popping up as per 'normal' on my side bar again Janice.
ReplyDeleteGlad to learn that you have so much support from Mark and Jess, it is at times like these that we really appreciate the family. What a tremendous comfort they are, and how do people manage when they are alone?
Cake looks delicious, but don't go over doing things.
Soon we shall reach the longest night, and then the days will gradually get longer, and Spring will be in the air.
Take care Janice, sending you all my best wishes for Christmas♥
I, too, have wondered how on earth people who are on their own manage with seriopus illness. It must be a nightmare.
DeleteThanks for your good wishes Rosemary. I loved the owl Christmas card.... fabulous... I cant remember whether I commented or not....but it is really beautiful, what talent there is in your lovely family.
Fondest wishes for Christmas to you and yours. Jxxx
I hope you found a wig you like and feel really good in. Thanks for sharing your journey through this with us and the reminder to count every normal day a huge blessing. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family!
ReplyDeleteJillx
Thanks so much Jill. When first diagnosed I was angry about the grand plans I would have to put on hold....but I am very clear now, that it is the normal things I want to enjoy.....and intend to !
DeleteI hope your Christmas is lovely. Jx
It's wonderful to hear you are feeling 'normal' again. It also sounds as if you have your priorities right ... I, too, am a Mary Berry fan. She was a Godsend to me when I first came to Britain and had to come to grips with British cooking methods! Best wishes to you and your family for a wonderful blessed Christmas and throughout New year.
ReplyDeleteIt's great to see you are feeling well enough to post ... Welcome back!
Thanks Broad, and yes, I suddenly realised when I was posting this, that it is the first time for ages that I have wanted to post something....again, a nice feeling of normal. have a wonderful Christmas. Jx
DeleteI send my very best wishes for your recovery; the fact that you've taken up your keyboard again is a good sign.
ReplyDeleteNice looking cake... the simple ones are usually the best. Although Lady M has been slaving over our Christmas cake for weeks, and it's very good too.
yes, I hadn't realised how much I had missed the keyboard when it all seemed like too much of an effort... it's good to be back.
DeleteI'm sure the Christmas cake will be wonderful... enjoy. J.
Oh, dear soul, enjoy all these moments of normal and here's hoping your pain and fatigue aren't as bad next round. I see from your reply above that you are almost half way through. I'm praying for you all the way through this, Janice.
ReplyDeleteYour cake looks quite delicious - and how festive your tree is.
Thanks Penny. I'm just off to a little tea room in Hebden Bridge, for breakfast with my daughter...... it feels good to be able to say something so normal.
DeleteHave a wonderful Christmas in your little bit of paradise on the cutoff. Jx
Dear Janice, I have joined your lovely blog and look forward to following your posts and your journey. The sponge cake looks perfectly delicious, and I am glad you are feeling normal. It is the best gift of all, and one I am also constantly seeking. I had a mastectomy this year, while still in recovery from a serious car accident last year. Been feeling wiped out for much of 2011-12. Blogging has been my way of journalling the good things and have found it really helps me to look for the positives (and take a picture!). All the very best to you, and your family, and may your Christmas be very special. xx
ReplyDeleteHow lovely to hear from you Patricia. It sounds as if the last couple of years have been very hard for you... lets all hope for an excellent 2013 !
DeleteBlogging has become important for me, even before my illness. I have really enjoyed being part of a world wide network of people...mostly, but not all, women, who have taken such an interest in each others' lives.
Fondest wishes J.xx
Never knock normal!
ReplyDeleteI remember how chuffed Mr. Fly was when he was able to do and enjoy some 'normal' activity between bouts of treatment...but sponge making did not, unfortunately, figure in his repertoire.
Great to see you so positive and with such support.
Hello Fly, believe me, I will never knock normal again...I love it. Are you home ? Has the trip gone well ? Looking forward to hearing of your adventures with your mother.
DeleteFondest wishes to you and Mr. Fly.Jx
Dear Janice, The cake looks a triumph and I agree with everyone else that 'normal' is good!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are getting a really crazy, bad-ass red wig to feel wonderful in and to keep your spirits high. (I have one that is christened 'sod it'!)
Wishing you a peaceful, relaxing Christmas and a return to good health in 2013.
Thanks for calling in.... and for your kind wishes. I've popped into one of your blogs ( so far... intend to check out the other 2 later ! ). So sorry to read about your beautiful dog.Hope you have a great Christmas. J.
DeleteHi again Share my garden..... just realised I've been following another of your blogs for a while....just hadn't connected you to it ! J.
Delete