Wednesday 27 March 2013

Last chemo session

Tomorrow I will receive my 6th   and last bout of chemotherapy. When I went to have my blood count checked yesterday, I told the phlebotomist it was in preparation for my last chemo session.

He said “ You hope.”

I said, “No, I know.”

He said, “So you’re in remission are you ? “

I said, “No.....it’s gone”.

I added in my head....and “It’s not coming back.”
 
( The nurse in the above photo is not real.....it is daughter Jess, on the Emmerdale set, where she had a part as an extra, playing a nurse, earlier this week)

I know I am very lucky that my surgery was able to remove my cancer, but I also know, because of the strain and the stage it was at, that there is a chance it might come back. I have not wanted to know any statistical evidence of % rates of return....it’s either 100%, or 0% depending on whether it comes back or not. I am determined to be in the 0%......it will not return. Of course, if it does... I shall deal with that, but I don’t need to even think about that now.

Today, I am cancer free.

The radiotherapy treatment starts exactly 20 days after the last chemo. It is a high dosage braccytherapy treatment, more specifically focussed than the external beam kind, and involves 6 treatments, from Wednesday to Wednesday, with a break at the weekend. This means that in 3 weeks 6 days time all the risk reduction treatment will be over, and Mark and I will get our lives back again.

We have been on hold. Everything has revolved around me, my cancer, my treatment, the state of my immune system, what I have fancied to eat, and how I have been feeling. I cannot wait to merge into the background, pay attention to other people’s priorities, and enjoy watching and actively participating in the lives of my family and friends again.

Family and friends and blogging friends have been so supportive since that strange day just a week after Jodie’s wedding, when it seemed that my world was completely unravelling. I can never thank people enough for how cared for they have made me feel. Mark is surely a saint. I should write to the Pope immediately and get the process started.

I’m sure I will blog about my recovery again, and how the infamous “ cancer journey” has affected my life.....but for the time being....

Today I am cancer free,

and normal life is about to be resumed.
Welcome back to normal life.......according to Clark.
 



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43 comments:

  1. Kathy27 March 2013 at 16:47

    It's been a long hard road, Janice, and you've walked it so bravely and unflinchingly. Even though my cancer treatments were easier in that I didn't need chemo, I can identify so strongly with your attitude and approach. You've dealt with this and if, heaven forbid, you were to need to deal with it again, you would do so with exactly the same courage and strength. You're a star and I do hope this last chemo and the radiotherapy go well and you can enjoy life fully again soon. Hugs Pxxx

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    1. Janice27 March 2013 at 17:09

      Thanks Perpetua, it has been a tough 6 months, but I have felt genuinely lucky to have had so much support. Of course,blogging has been a wonderful distraction as well as a support. I have loved catching bits of everyone's lives, seeing in some cases, what difficulties others face...sometimes so much tougher than what I have been facing.
      It's also good to just have the links with people's ordinary lives, and know that by adding to the blogging dialogue you become part of those lives.
      Today of course, I'm hardly thinking about tomorrow's chemo.... it's Annie's first sleep in her new home ! I just hope all has gone well for them. Thanks again. Jx

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  2. Ayak27 March 2013 at 17:04

    I think Perpetua has used all the right words Janice, and better than I could put it. I truly admire the strength you have shown throughout all this, and how you have remained so positive, and kept your wonderful sense of humour.

    I'm so happy for you. And as soon as the radiotherapy is out of the way, you can start enjoying life again. Much love xxx

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    1. Janice27 March 2013 at 20:53

      Thanks Ayak, it does feel good to be seeing the possibility for normal life emerging again. Even though there is still the radiotherapy to "experience", it feels as if the finishing line is within sight at last. Thanks for all your support during the last 6 months. Keep looking after that foot ! Jx

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  3. Helen Devries27 March 2013 at 17:06

    I have nothing but admiration and respect for the way in which you have coped with this unexpected blow....not long now until you can pick up your normal life again.
    And how attractive normal can be....

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    1. Janice27 March 2013 at 20:55

      Thanks Helen. I know lots of people have incredibly tough things to deal with, and so far, I have been very lucky...with my treatments and with the support I have received. Here's raising a glass to "normal". Jx

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  4. BacktoBodrum27 March 2013 at 17:12

    Go Girl - I knew you'd get through it with your head held high.

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    1. Janice28 March 2013 at 18:07

      Thanks BtoB....I know I've got a little bit further to go...but finishing line looks as if its in sight...and I am keeping my head up! Thanks again Jx

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  5. Used-to-Bees27 March 2013 at 17:25

    Your attitude to everything over these last months has been really inspiring. I know you will now grab hold of and enjoy normal' to the fullest '. Have fun - you deserve it.
    x

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    1. Janice28 March 2013 at 19:26

      Thanks so much. I am so thankful for the wonderful medical support I have had, and for the support of friends... those I have actually met, and those from this delightful little group of blogging friends. I'm looking forward to lots of fun....and blogging about it. Jx

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  6. Used-to-Bees27 March 2013 at 17:27

    Sorry - messed up my punctuation there. Was meant to be 'normal' to the fullest! The other way looks kind of wrong so I'm having to correct myself!
    x

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  7. Hazel Maria Blakeley27 March 2013 at 17:30

    It has happened a couple of times for us Janice where life has gone on hold and we have felt to be living in our own soap opera.I clearly remember thinking how returning to normality would be better than winning the lottery.Will be holding you in our thoughts tomorrow. x Maria.

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    1. Janice28 March 2013 at 19:29

      Thanks... soap opera is a good way of describing it...this one has been one in which I dont think Jess would want a role !
      However...happy endings are planned. J.

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  8. The Broad27 March 2013 at 17:41

    You have been brave and true and so positive. Very best wishes as you go forward. Your attitude has been a tribute to life and I am so grateful for all you have shared with us...

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    1. Janice29 March 2013 at 13:20

      Broad...I responded to this comment, but it seems to have positioned itself further down the list of comments... dont know why...sorry about that. Jx

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  9. GaynorB27 March 2013 at 18:18

    Bravo! Keep up this positive attitude and very best wishes. Hope this final round of chemo isn't too bad x

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    1. Janice29 March 2013 at 13:22

      Thanks so much Gaynor. I could have cartwheeled out of the chemo ward yesterday...but know that within a few more hours I will just want to hibernate for a few days. I may well do that, the weather certainly isn't condusive to much else. However, it is a great feeling to know that I just now have 6 radiotherapy sessions to face...and then all the monitoring....but the tough bit is over. thanks for your wishes, Jx

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  10. Unknown27 March 2013 at 20:13

    Janice, I have been thinking of you lately. You go girl, and get on with a wonderful full life. Normal is essential to our welbeing. Enjoy your freedom. Thank you for your kind support. When you have had your own mountain to climb, you've been there to help me through. Many hugs Sue.x

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    1. Janice29 March 2013 at 13:24

      Thanks Sue, I've been thinking about you and Petal a great deal too. I feel very lucky. I know it isn't all over yet, and I know I too could end up facing a round 2, but at the moment, I am, if not feeling I should be wearing an I am a survisor T shirt, I can proudly wear an I am surviving T shirt. Whatever happens... we deal with it, and enjoy all we can. Fondest wishes Janice x

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  11. nilly27 March 2013 at 22:53

    It's wonderful to think of you making the most of everything from this moment on!
    It's what we all should be doing, after all. And I'm so glad your life is full of love.

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    1. Janice29 March 2013 at 13:26

      Thanks Nilly.... all well so far. In real terms there's still a way to go, but having got through chemo with the worst thing being feeling rough for a few days every 3 weeks, and being bald..... well, some people have a lot tougher things to face. Life is good.... we must enjoy it. Jx

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  12. Patricia27 March 2013 at 23:14

    Dear Janice, you are an inspiration. I have so admired your courage and strength through your chemo. and know too well how it feels to have your life vanish for months at a time! It will be so much the sweeter when all therapy is over and you can move on. Excellent idea to focus on the 0%, and I am going to shamelessly copy you on that one. All the other stats just tend to confuse me. While it may not be the best Easter you have lived, I wish you happiness and peace in the knowledge that this is the last round. xxx

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    1. Janice29 March 2013 at 13:31

      I really do think it is unhelpful being told that 37% or 98%of people with your stage of cancer made a full recovery. If you are in the 2% that doesn't...it is 100& for you. So whenever any clinician has sounded as if they were heading in that direction with me, I have stopped them. I'm not daft, I know it can come back....but it'll have a fight on its hand if ittries it with me. Hope you have a lovely Easter. I'm now looking forward to getting stronger by the day, and enjoying life to the full again. Jx

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  13. Jane28 March 2013 at 15:08

    Yeah! Last chemo is a day to celebrate....Mine was October 12, 2006 and each day since is a blessing. You will also and, sometimes, even forget it ever happened. Much love

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    1. Janice29 March 2013 at 13:34

      I thought of you yesterday Jane....knowing how strong you were, and have been ever since. In 7 years time, I hope to be emailing you to tell you it was 7 years since my last chemo! I have no doubt that it helps when you are surrounded by loving and supportive friends and family, and we both know that we are particularly lucky on those counts. Just the radiotherapy to go now, and then, yes, I am looking forward to the whole thing just slipping to the back of my mind for most of the time. Lots of love Jxxxx

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  14. Unknown28 March 2013 at 16:14

    I hope your last treatment went well today and I join you in raising a glass to the sweetness of ordinary and normal. I echo all the well put sentiments above.... admire your attitude immensely. Here's to the future.

    Your daughter makes a lovely nurse on Emmerdale, what fun!

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    1. Janice29 March 2013 at 13:37

      Thanks Jill, life is certainly goig to feel better knowing I do not have to be plugged into that medication again. However, I will miss the day of observing the fabulous chemo staff working on the ward. That has always made the day go quickly, and they have the ability to make ytou feel so special, an incrdibly cared for. I'm not quite sure what I'd have felt like if Jess had walked onto the ward though.Although I think she has the caring attitude to make a good nurse, I;m not sure I'd trust her with the meds at the moment.
      Thanks for yor good wishes, much appreciated Jx

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  15. Janice29 March 2013 at 13:17

    Thanks Broad. I am constantly amazed at how brains can develop coping strategies. Once I knew what I was facing, my head coped and I could deal with things. There have been low spots, and I suspect there will be more to come. However, life is too lovely, and can be shortened when we least expect it, so as far as I am concerned, each day is now a bonus, and one to be enjoyed. Thanks again for your kind words and thoughts Jx

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  16. Vanessa29 March 2013 at 20:25

    Long live normal life! I'm sure you are itching to get back to yours. Your positive attitude must make a difference, although I've no doubt there are low spots. I'll raise a glass this weekend to 0%.

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    1. Janice30 March 2013 at 15:25

      Thanks Vanessa, normal life feels really close now, and as soon as I have emerged from this last chemo induced fog, I will be celebrating accordingly.....and getting back to France asap. Jx

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  17. Erica (Irene)29 March 2013 at 21:13

    HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY for you......and may you live a long healthy life, which I'm sure you will with your outlook on everything in life and your sense of humor. I learned that is important.
    You have been an inspiration to many I'm sure at home and your blogging.
    Take care and if I was near you I'd do a Happy Dance for you. E.XXXX

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    1. Janice30 March 2013 at 15:27

      Thanks Erica..... it's been a long haul, and not quite over yet, but it has made me really value the important things, and having blogging friends all over the world has been one of them. I love the idea of the Happy dance... I shall be doing one very soon now. Jx

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  18. John Medd31 March 2013 at 22:50

    Wishing you well. J x

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  19. Maria1 April 2013 at 08:31

    So pleased for you Janice!

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  20. Penny O'Neill3 April 2013 at 04:44

    . . . and today you are cancer free. Yea! I admire your determination and spirit, Janice. I know it hasn't been an easy time for you, but, you soldiered on and here you at the end of your chemo. My cousin's wife just had a week's blast of braccytherapy. It seems to be doing what it was intended to do. I will be thinking about you, praying for, as you take this next step - and then get on with your life.

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    1. Janice3 April 2013 at 14:20

      Thanks Penny, I cannot tell you how good it feels to be emerging from all this. I am still a bit "zapped" from the last chemo session, but know that within a few days I'm going to be feeling good again, and back to acting like a normal human being again. So much so that tonight I'm risking going to a book reading by Jodi Picoult, who is touring over here at the moment. I am not her greatest fan, but while I have been feeling poorly, it has been great to pick up one of her formulaic books, and enjoy the easy reading they provide, alongside the moral dilemnas she explores. It will be interesting to see what she has to say.

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  21. Erica (Irene)5 April 2013 at 14:14

    ....I'm always thinking about you Janice and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Happy that you are cancer-free I sure know how that feels.
    Take care....XXOO

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    1. Janice5 April 2013 at 14:30

      Thanks Erica. It is a good feeling, and one I hope to maintain ! I am just coming round after the last chemo treatment now....it has taken longer this time to feel ok again, but knowing it is the last one, has made it easier. I hope all is well with you, and that spring is starting to warm things up a little. Jx

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  22. ArtyZen6 April 2013 at 17:08

    Darling Janice, you are an absolute inspiration and I can't really put into words how wowed I have been by your attitude and strength over the past six months. I love so much that you thought of me on my first night in our new house - and you must know too that I was thinking of you getting ready to face that last bout of chemo. You have been so much in my thoughts and I can't wait for us to get together to spend some time doing some really fun things. Much love, Axxxx

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    1. Janice6 April 2013 at 17:15

      I just cant wait to hear all about the move, and how things are settling in the new house....I'm going to call it, your new home from now on...it's much more than a house after all this time. I hope the kids and FR are happy, I'm sure they must be as pleased as you. I'm so cross with myself for not demanding your new postal address before you moved in....so message me with it please.Lots and lots of love Jxxxx

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  23. maggie.danhakl@healthline.com25 October 2014 at 17:16

    Hi Janice,

    Healthline just designed a virtual guide of the effects of chemotherapy on the body. You can see the infographic here: http://www.healthline.com/health/cancer/effects-on-body

    This is valuable med-reviewed information that can help a person understand the side effects they are experiencing from their chemo treatment. I thought this would be of interest to your audience, and I’m writing to see if you would include this as a resource on your page: http://janiceincaunes.blogspot.com/2013/03/last-chemo-session.html

    If you do not believe this would be a good fit for a resource on your site, even sharing this on your social communities would be a great alternative to help get the word out.

    Thanks so much for taking the time to review. Please let me know your thoughts and if I can answer any questions for you.

    All the best,
    Maggie Danhakl • Assistant Marketing Manager
    p: 415-281-3124 f: 415-281-3199

    Healthline • The Power of Intelligent Health
    660 Third Street, San Francisco, CA 94107
    www.healthline.com | @Healthline | @HealthlineCorp

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