Tomorrow I will receive my 6th and last bout of chemotherapy. When I went to have my blood count checked yesterday, I told the phlebotomist it was in preparation for my last chemo session.
He said “ You hope.”
I said, “No, I know.”
He said, “So you’re in remission are you ? “
I said, “No.....it’s gone”.
I added in my head....and “It’s not coming back.”
( The nurse in the above photo is not real.....it is daughter Jess, on the Emmerdale set, where she had a part as an extra, playing a nurse, earlier this week)
I know I am very lucky that my surgery was able to remove my cancer, but I also know, because of the strain and the stage it was at, that there is a chance it might come back. I have not wanted to know any statistical evidence of % rates of return....it’s either 100%, or 0% depending on whether it comes back or not. I am determined to be in the 0%......it will not return. Of course, if it does... I shall deal with that, but I don’t need to even think about that now.
Today, I am cancer free.
The radiotherapy treatment starts exactly 20 days after the last chemo. It is a high dosage braccytherapy treatment, more specifically focussed than the external beam kind, and involves 6 treatments, from Wednesday to Wednesday, with a break at the weekend. This means that in 3 weeks 6 days time all the risk reduction treatment will be over, and Mark and I will get our lives back again.
We have been on hold. Everything has revolved around me, my cancer, my treatment, the state of my immune system, what I have fancied to eat, and how I have been feeling. I cannot wait to merge into the background, pay attention to other people’s priorities, and enjoy watching and actively participating in the lives of my family and friends again.
Family and friends and blogging friends have been so supportive since that strange day just a week after Jodie’s wedding, when it seemed that my world was completely unravelling. I can never thank people enough for how cared for they have made me feel. Mark is surely a saint. I should write to the Pope immediately and get the process started.
I’m sure I will blog about my recovery again, and how the infamous “ cancer journey” has affected my life.....but for the time being....
Today I am cancer free,
and normal life is about to be resumed.
|Welcome back to normal life.......according to Clark.|